Pain Without Love
by The Nerdfighter
Summary: He wasn't good at fixing problems; all he did was make them worse. And boy, he really did a number on this one. So what does one do when he realizes that no matter what side he chooses, there's always someone who's going to wind up hurt? Especially when that certain someone is his best friend's girlfriend... April/Raph one-shot. Takes place a little after the 2007 movie


**Author's Note: **Hello, readers! :D Man, these plot bunnies are going to be the death of me. x.x I've had so many ideas jumbled up in my head that I can't even keep up with them! I apology deeply to any of the readers that are keeping up with my TMNT story, "The Waiting Ones". I promise once I get most of these plot bunnies in check, I'll start adding more to that story as soon as possible. :D

Okay, first off, I'd like to point out a few things. One, this is my VERY FIRST ONE SHOT! Can you believe it? :D I mean, I've written one shots before when I was in junior high, but those were so god awfully atrocious that they no longer exist on this cite. However, I'm quite pleased with the way this one turned out and I hope you readers think the same. :) Second, the beginning to this story was a pain in the ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to write! Seriously, I kid you not, I literally went through like ten revisions of this damn story before I was finally satisfied with it. x.x Angst and drama aren't really my forte, so I'm sorry if this story seems a tad bit off. Dx Hey, it's my first one shot. Cut me some slack. :) I'm always willing to improve, so if you readers have any helpful advice, feel free to let me know. :D And thirdly, this story wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for **SleepingSeeker**'s marvelous one shot, "Everything Changes", where she brought up a rather valid point. "Personally, I always thought if April was attracted to that type of guy, who not Raph?" (emits epic facepalm) Why hadn't _I _thought of that!? It was a big step out of my comfort zone seeing as I'm an avid April/Donnie shipper, but I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing this little one shot and it really gave me the chance to delve into something new. :) Thank you for that, **SleepingSeeker**. I hope I dun made you proud! Haha! XD

Alright, enough with the pointless rambling. I hope you all enjoy the fic! :D Read on, readers!

**Disclaimer****: **Don't own the Ninja Turtles and it's probably a good thing I don't or else the turtles would be tortured on a regular basis and the romance between the brothers would be like if _General Hospital _and _Queer As Folk _had a baby. x.x

* * *

**Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles**

"**Pain without Love"**

* * *

Raphael knew he wasn't made of stone. He understood that any chance him and his brothers took to the streets, it was like laying their lives spread out on a poker table – the battle of coming back home alive a constant gamble that could be dealt either way. Just because they were trained in the art of ninjitsu didn't mean they were rendered invincible. If they got sucker punched in the face, the area of attack bruised over. If they got kicked in the stomach, they grunted and doubled over in pain, the wind knocked clear out of their lungs as they desperately gasped for air. And if a jagged-edged machete tore through any part of their mutated bodies, they screamed in agony—and bled.

A lot.

Raphael watched with hooded eyes as crimson droplets fell through the snow, seeping into the icy crystals below and leaving a vivid conduit behind. Like a fucked up breadcrumb trail leading his path back to grandma's house. The harsh December winds bit and clawed at his frozen body, feeding off of his warmth and devouring any sense of feeling, making the situation both brutal, yet overwhelmingly relieving. He needed medical attention _fast _and although Don – as well as the rest of his brothers – was safely tucked away in the confinements of their home, Raphael was left with only one other option: Casey and April.

Luckily, their apartment wasn't too far off from where he was sliced and diced and although that made the situation all the more alleviating, it didn't make the journey up the rustic iron fire escape all the more pleasant as Raphael grunted and hissed and swore and screamed, cursing both April and Casey for having to pick a room that was so far up the goddamn building.

Thankfully, the feeling of passing out from overexertion quickly subsided when Raphael had reached the seventh floor, leaning his body against the cool, frozen glass, his breath coming out in small, puffy fog clouds. He didn't waste a second when it came to prying the window open and although he figured it would've been smart to knock first to make sure someone was home, he was in too much pain to give a shit before he brushed past the curtains and slipped inside, the warmth from the heater engulfing his body in a comforting, cozy embrace….

The shrill scream that followed soon after, however, wasn't at all comforting and before Raphael even had a chance to step onto the polished hard wooden floorboards, the sight before him left his eyes wide and his body stiff.

"Jesus—Raphael, _what the hell_?"

Leaning a bit too far forward over the windowsill, Raphael could feel himself losing his balance and before he could correct himself to keep from falling flat on his shell, he timbered ahead, dropping to the floor like a sack of potatoes while a series of swear words spilled from pursed, tight lips.

He rolled to the side, his eyes screwed shut at the intense amount of pain jolting through his body and when he finally lifted his eyelids open, he was greeted by the sight of a pair of creamy-coated, supple mounds of perky breasts, a wash of crimson staining his cheeks.

Quickly, he lifted himself to a sitting position and scooted as far back as he could, his eyes wound shut and his hands lifted up to act as shields – as if shutting his eyes to the point where he thought his eyelids were going to rip off wasn't enough. He sputtered an array of incoherent words and curses and before the red-banded turtle could even begin to apologize, he heard her voice echo through his eardrums, her tone annoyed not at his antics, but at the situation at hand.

"God, Raph, ever hear of a little thing called _picking up a phone_?"

His shoulders sank, his eyes prying back open before he sneered at the slight hint of sarcasm coated in her words. "Ever hear of wearin' a goddamn towel, April? What the hell are you doin' walkin' around naked like some kind of hippie?"

"It's _my apartment_, nimrod!" She paused, shaking her head violently before continuing to speak. "Never mind. What happened to you? Where are the others?"

"Just me, myself, and I." Raphael grunted, his head still tilted away from April's presence as he heard the light pitter-patter of footsteps followed by the sound of faint rustling.

He hissed uncomfortably when he tried to shift his body, the white-hot intensity of the many gashes strewn across his skin burning and searing, making him wince as he tried to continue to speak, figuring it would pull his mind away from the pain. Wetting his dry lips, Raphael could feel a presence hanging over him like a shadow and before he could make any more sudden movements, April placed a soft hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention as his shoulders lessened themselves from the tension. It wasn't a towel, but a blanket was at least the next best thing, the fleece material covering April's smooth body while her amber-tinted locks draped over the fabric that concealed those supple mounds Raphael had just witnessed not even thirty seconds ago.

Feeling his face heat up once more, he shook the thoughts from his head and continued to speak, focusing on the subject at hand. "Y'know, this probably wouldn't have happened if that numbskull, Casey Jones actually showed up on time for our Friday night patrol. Bastard had me pacin' back and forth for nearly two goddamn hours before I decided to take to the streets on my own. Ran into a gang of hotshots with machetes, thinkin' I could take them down with my sais. Boy was I wrong."

"Well then that's your fault, not Casey's," April pointed out, examining his wounds while trying not to touch him, her emerald green eyes scanning through every gash and every punctured wound, her lips pursed into a thin white line. "Bit off more than you could chew, huh, Raphie boy?"

"Hey, are ya gonna talk or are ya gonna treat my wounds?" The hotheaded turtle ground out acidly, his eyes narrowed in frustration while April raised an apathetic eyebrow.

"Best not talk back to the woman with the first aid kit, tough guy. After all, water looks _so _similar to antiseptic. Wouldn't want me to confuse the two now would you?"

"N-No, ma'am." Raphael shook his head, his honey-hazel eyes struck with fear before April patted him on the shoulder and picked herself up.

She took the time to tread into the hall to grab the first aid kit she had mentioned earlier and while she did this, she had remembered to grab a blanket for Raphael, spreading it over the living room couch before she had instructed him to take a seat, the red-banded turtle obliging without protest. As he tried to make himself as comfortable as possible, he could hear the faint sound of the refrigerator door being open and before the hothead could turn around to see what April was doing in the kitchen, he looked up at the redhead and noticed there were two things in her hands: one being the first aid kit, the other a beautiful honey-golden bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon.

"Here. It'll keep your mouth shut while I treat your wounds. I know how much of a baby you can be when it comes to iodine."

"Ain't my fault that shit stings," Raphael grumbled, snatching the liquor bottle from April's hand before twisting the cap. He brought the drink straight up to his lips and cocked his head back, taking in one large gulp before shaking his head, relishing in the feel of the burning liquid splashing down his throat. The effects of the alcohol immediately started traveling straight to his fingertips as it culled and numbed his body into a warm, satisfying lull, a small smile spread across his chapped lips. "That's the stuff."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cuz you're going to go through one helluva ride in just a few minutes," April warned as she took a seat near the red-banded turtle, washcloth in hand. Not even noticing that she had managed to fill up a wide bowl of lukewarm water during her trip to the kitchen, Raphael watched as the redhead dipped the fluffy cloth into the water, ringing it out and dabbing gently at his wounds, her brows scrunched up in concentration while he took another swig of his bourbon.

"So where is Case anyway?" He asked, glancing back and forth as if the vigilante were hiding from him, waiting for just the right moment to pop up and yell 'surprise'.

"He had to work late tonight. Some billionaire tycoon passed away the other day and Casey was offered the position of hauling away all of his belongings to be auctioned off to other billionaire tycoons. He's been gone since this afternoon and since the bonehead forgot his cell phone, I haven't heard from him since."

"Well that makes sense," Raphael pointed out, wincing when April had brushed over a deeper gash. "I probably left him like five voice messages tellin' him he better be dyin' right now – otherwise I was gonna make him wish he was starin' Death in the face when I got a hold of him for totally ditchin' me on our night." He paused, his fingers coiled tighter around his Budweiser before his shoulders shook at the amused chuckle that escaped his lips. "Fuck, I sound like a whiny teenage brat who just got stood up at the prom or somethin'."

"We'll just say that's the alcohol talking." April grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got my ass handed to me by Wolverine," Raphael grunted, swirling the golden liquid inside his bottle before downing another shot. "The bourbon's doin' a pretty good job at numbin' my body though. Startin' to feel a little weightless."

"Good, 'cuz I'm almost done here. Give me your other arm."

He did as he was told, stretching his arm so that April could run the damp washcloth over his wounds, wiping off the dried up flakes of crimson blood and excess dirt and snow. He watched with slight fascination as she cleaned him up, his eyes travelling down and noticing the slight line of her cleavage – her breasts pushed together ever so slightly. Raphael couldn't tell whether it was the bourbon that was making his face flush, or the fact that April's boobs were ready to pop out of her blanket, but to save himself any further embarrassment, he turned away with a discomfited sneer, his foot tapping rather anxiously while his eyes flicked back and forth.

"Relax already, will ya?" April giggled, running her fingers ever so gently as she examined her handiwork. "The second I'm done dressing your wounds, I'll go into my room and put some clothes. For now you're just going to have to deal with the fact that a naked woman is sitting next to you touching your body."

Raphael felt his eyes widen a fraction of an inch as the tension in his muscles began to stiffen, still as a statue. He watched as April looked up at him with mocking jade eyes, twinkling with amusement that made him both aggravated, yet stunned to silence. It was a rare effect anyone had on the red-banded turtle – one that Raphael thought only Splinter had the power to posses.

Yet there was something about April that whenever she looked into his narrowed, golden eyes, it was like she was forcing out all the tension he held constricted inside his body, loosening his limbs and snatching away any cold remark or sarcastic quip he had tucked away to be released at the right moment. It perplexed him, but he never thought too much of it, thinking it was a trait all women had – especially women with boyfriends or husbands. Or even little children.

In a way, April was kind of like a sister to him and his brothers, always looking out for them and making sure they were living comfortably in the confinements of their lair, dropping a call here and there or even popping by to visit, making sure they weren't all killing each other. She did most of their grocery shopping and was always inviting them over to have dinner, knowing quite well of Mikey's cooking habits, figuring they deserved a nice home cooked meal every once in a while rather than the shit Mikey cooked up or the endless amount of pizza they ordered. She was doting without being a fucking leech and Raphael knew April would make a great mom one day. That is, if she could muster up raising the little child she was with right now into a reliable father. He loved Casey, but sometimes, the guy needed to get his shit together.

"Alright, here comes your favorite part, Raph." April grinned, pulling out the bottle of iodine from her first aid kit along with a small bag of cotton balls.

The red-banded turtle grimaced at the sight and took one more swig of bourbon before he held out his arms without struggle. "Just hurry up and get it over with."

"It won't take long, I promise." She smiled, dabbing the antiseptic on a cotton ball before shifting ever so slightly to get to the gash right on top of Raphael's shoulder. "You only have maybe two or three cuts that I couldn't clean out with just the washcloth. The rest can be easily bandaged up."

"Ain't that a reli—_argh, fuck_! Shit, that fuckin' stings!" Raphael cried, tightening his grip on the neck of his bottle while his eyes screwed shut, biting back the pain.

April frowned at the hothead's discomfort, but she didn't let that distract her from cleaning out all the dirt that caked around the area of Raphael's wound. Lips pursed and eyes locked on the target at hand, she quickly moved on to the next cut, doing the same and watching Raphael's body tense, the veins in his neck popping as he tried to keep calm over the searing pain. She reached over and squeezed his free hand, letting him know she was almost done as she leaned forward and cleaned out the cut just above his plastron, her face merely inches away from his own as she smelled the hot bourbon-coated stench of his own breath, which came out in small, quickened puffs.

As he opened his eyes and noticed how close April was to him, Raphael could feel the tension in his limbs loosen before she stared up into his eyes and offered him a small smile of accomplishment. Pulling away in what felt like slow motion, April set aside the cotton balls and dug through her first aid kit, pulling out a set of bandages and covering the wounds that needed to be covered, her body pressed up against Raphael's to get a better reach at the cuts that needed to be concealed. Without meaning to, he took in a whiff of her amber locks, a delicious scent of apples and pears wafting through his beak before she pulled away and addressed that she was finished, a small silenced whimper escaping his throat.

He sneered at the rather vulnerable noise that he prayed April hadn't heard and lifted himself up to a proper sitting position, muttering his thanks while April disappeared into her room, living up to her promise in putting some clothes on to ease Raphael's diffident apprehension. When she was out of sight, he let out a calming breath, taking another sip of bourbon to quell his shaken nerves before the sound of April's cell phone rang through his eardrums, catching the red-banded turtle off guard.

Feeling nosy, he glanced over his shoulder and looked down the hall, the faint echo of April's voice reaching down to the living room as she answered the call.

"_Hello…? Hey, Casey, are you almost off…? Casey, do you have any idea what time it is? Not only that but you've been at work pretty much all day. Don't you want to come home…? Yes, I understand it's extra money, but … I'm not scolding you, I just want you to come home…. I don't care about the bills right now, Casey, I haven't seen you all day. You've worked more than a full shift and I just … okay…. Okay…. Fine…. Bye."_

He got up from the couch in one quick motion, his body swaying just a tad before he stopped himself from taking a step further. This was none of his business. This wasn't any of his business and he shouldn't have been eavesdropping in the first place. April and Casey had their own issues to deal with and meddling wasn't going to do either of them any good. Besides, what the hell could he do anyway? Raphael was never good with this kind of stuff – being the person one went to for comfort. He was too abrasive for anyone's taste and all he really did was fuck everything up even worse. He was the one who started arguments, not fix them. Best just to act as though he hadn't heard anything.

For what felt like hours, he sat there in calm silence, hearing the soft sound of April's footsteps resonate through the hall until she threw something on his lap and headed for the kitchen. Raphael stared questioningly at the box of candy splayed over his lap and when he looked up at April to ask what is was for, she reached over for his bottle of bourbon and poured herself a glass.

"They're Casey's favorite," she pointed out dryly, handing him back the bottle before taking a quick sip from her glass, her lips pursed at the burning alcoholic beverage. "He's been doing so well getting in to work on time and taking up double shifts that I figured I'd reward him with candy and a few other things. I was going to surprise him, but I didn't take into consideration that'd he take up extra work."

"Well, that's a good thing, ain't it? More money comin' in, right?" He asked, trying to sound hopeful without talking shit about his best friend. He knew April was pissed at Casey, but he didn't want to come off like he was taking sides, knowing it would bite him in the ass later on down the road. Master Splinter had always taught them that it was impossible to please everyone. One person always had to be in the wrong and right now, Raphael wished he was anywhere but here at the moment as he took a swirled his bottle rather nervously, his lips pursed into a thin line.

"We're behind on our bills, you know that?" April spoke up, catching the red-banded turtle off guard as he whipped his attention toward the redhead, his eyes wide with shock. April nodded as if it were nothing, staring at the golden brown liquid in her glass before taking a quick sip. "We weren't able to pay our rent last month and we're down to our last bit of groceries. Business has been slow in the shop, so I'm not bringing in very much money. That's why I've been nagging Casey to start pulling his act together and picking up a few more shifts at work. We should be fine once his next paycheck comes in, but … it gets lonely, you know?"

"You're—but you cooked us dinner a few nights ago. If you guys were down to your last bit of groceries…." His irises flickered back and forth, an eminent stutter coating his shaken words, dripped with concern.

"We're dealing with it rather well." April shrugged. "I mean, it's not like we're on the verge of getting kicked out by the landlord or starving to death. We'll be okay within due time. Right now, we're just picking up the pieces and melding them back together. No harm done."

"April, you … why didn't ya tell us what was goin' on? We could've helped you and Case if ya just—"

"Raphael, we're _fine_," April giggled, her forest green eyes twinkling mirthfully and Raphael could tell the effects of the bourbon were already beginning to spread through her body.

Gulping down his rising concerns, Raphael wet his lips and looked up at the redhead with shaking fingers, his tone quiet yet audible enough for April to hear. "Y-You sure that's it?" he asked and immediately, he regretted asking such a question. He hated it when people pried about his personal business, yet here he was doing the same thing to April after he had overheard her and Casey's little spat on the phone. It was there business and there business _alone_. What was he to delve into their little arguments?

Raphael raised a quizzical eyebrow when April let out an amused chuckle, setting the glass on the coffee table while she rested her head against her hand, staring into Raphael's deep hazel orbs before she continued to speak. "Raph, can I ask you question? What were your thoughts about me when I first met you and your family?"

He snorted rather rudely before taking another sip of bourbon. "You don't wanna know."

"Well when you put it like that, now you _have _to tell me." April grinned, scooting herself closer toward the red-banded turtle, her eyes glazed over with curiosity.

Raphael paused for a moment, letting her words process through his brain before he conjured up the right way to respond to her question. Truth be told, he was terrified of April when they had first met. The only people he and his brothers had ever associated with were each other, so it was quite nerve-wracking when a human woman came into their lives, moseying her way into their little tight-knit circle. Raphael didn't know much about women other from the way they acted on the television. Some were cute and bubbly while others were catty and seductive, but they all had the same common trait and that was the power to render a man into a spineless, helpless, totally stripped-from-his-sense-of-freedom little bitch. He feared for his life that April possessed that kind of power and in the beginning, whenever she was around, he made it his goal to stay clear away from her, terrified that she would dominate over him and metaphorically rip his balls off. She already had Donnie into a pile of infatuated goo whenever he caught sight of her, but ever since Casey came into the picture, the tables completely flipped over and Don kept his distance, just like Raph had from the very beginning.

He glanced over and noticed that April was still staring at him, waiting to hear his answer that he still hadn't confessed. Letting out a breathy sigh, Raphael shifted in his seat and rested his arm against the top part of the couch, cradling the bourbon in his other hand while he wracked his brain to come up with a believable lie. His face twisted into a frustrated scowl and before he could take back what he was going to say, it had already spilled from his lips, making the hothead's cheeks tint into a darker shade of green. "I—I thought you were kinda pretty."

"Kinda?" She chuckled, raising a quizzical eyebrow as she leaned a little forward. "You wouldn't even come near me for the first couple of weeks. Was I that overwhelmingly beautiful that you didn't trust yourself to even be in the same room as me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. I've seen sexier women on the Channel 4 News."

"Asshole." April shoved his shoulder lightly, a small smile splayed across her face as she tilted her head to the side. "You know, I always had the sense that you hated me or something when we first met. You opened up to Casey without any problems at all, yet you were always so … withdrawn from me that it's a wonder you actually allowed yourself to let your shields down and approach me rather than retract like I was some kind of vicious animal waiting to devour you when no one was looking. It puzzled me to no end and … and saddened me that there was something about me you didn't like."

"April, I … I-I mean it wasn't like I was trying to avoid you."

Yes he was. That's exactly what he had done and from the look reflecting through her soft, forest green eyes, he could tell April was on to his deceiving little lie, catching him in the act and thinking up the best way to call him out on his bluff. But it didn't happen. Instead, she just shifted against the couch, her eyes locked onto him like missiles locking onto their line of fire, her tongue gliding over her dry lips before she continued to speak.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked and he stared at her blankly, his head nodding up and down ever so slowly before her gaze shifted down to her hands, twiddling her fingers in a nervous gesture. "Inside, you always put up this tough guy front – like you were Mr. Macho and there was nothing in the world that could hurt or weaken you. You played the badass, I-don't-give-a-shit attitude, yet you made it seem like you were—like you were almost afraid of me…. Truth be told, I thought it was actually kind of cute. It was like I got to see this, almost _vulnerable_ side to you that you wouldn't even allow your brothers to see. It was a big change from seeing this big tough turtle walking around with his shoulders back and his head held high. I felt like I saw a small glimpse of the real, true Raphael…. And I liked what I saw."

He stiffened at her soft words and felt the tension in his body constrict his muscles as he shifted away from her presence just a tad, realizing that he was far too close to her. April noticed this and reached a hand to drape it over Raphael's own, a small chill running up his spine before he looked away, his eyes hooded with guilt and uncertainty.

"April, we … this isn't—"

"—It doesn't have to escalate into anything serious. It could just be something little. Like a small kiss or a—"

"—You've had too much to drink. We both have. This is insane and we shouldn't even be—"

"—What exactly are you afraid of? No one's here. No one has to know…."

"Casey. He's—he's my best friend. You're _boyfriend_. And Donnie—"

"—Donnie isn't the one I want, Raphael. I want you. I need _you_…."

He shot up from the couch, his head spinning and his legs wobbling and he could feel his legs knock against the edge of the coffee table—a hissing curse escaping his lips. He avoided April's gaze as if she were Medusa trying to lure him in with her spell and his eyes set on the window straight ahead as he treaded forward in drunken strides.

"I—I have to get goin'. I have to—have to leave," he slurred, taking quick, long strides until April shot up from her seat as well, reaching over to grab hold of his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

He glanced over his shoulder and yanked, the effects of the alcohol messing with his sense of strength and he noticed April still had a grip on his wrist. With a frustrated growl, he glanced back toward the window and then back at April's hand, his hazel eyes ablaze into searing, golden irises.

"Sometimes I wonder," April spoke, catching the hothead off guard as he stood and watched her – her long, feathery bangs curtaining over her solemn green eyes. "I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't made the decisions I made that lead me to the path I walk now. I think about how I met you guys and how much time I'd spend with each and every one of you. I think about how I met Casey and all the countless times he asked me out before I finally caved him and decided to let him take me out on a date. I think about what life has provided me with so far – a decent apartment, a slow job, and a boyfriend who I hardly ever see. I think back on all the decisions I've made … and wish I could just press rewind and do everything all over again. Because I'm not happy, Raph…. I'm not happy with the path I've chosen…."

"April…" he paused, glancing up at the window that was just a few feet away. Four quick strides and he'd be outside, away from the emotional tension that was weighing heavily upon his shoulders, thickening the air that surrounded him and April; suffocating him. "…I—I could never give you the life you deserve. Bein' with me would be…. Just trust me when I say ya made the right decision pickin' Casey. He can actually give you a home. A family. He's the best choice for ya, April."

"But he's not _you_, Raph. Don't you get it? He's not the one I want—he was _never_ the one I wanted. I want someone who's passionate, who's caring – someone I know who will always be there for me no matter what. You've allowed yourself to let your shields down around me before, Raphael. Please, lower those shields one last time. Please…."

Raphael could feel his shoulders sinking, his body becoming slack as he lowered his arm and let April release her grip on his wrist, letting him turn around and face her – eyes hooded. She stared up at the red-masked turtle and reached up until she was on her tip toes, her hands placed on both sides of his face while he stared down at her, face stripped from emtion. Emerald green locked with honey-hazel as they studied each other's lips – April's slightly parted as she tilted her head and moved in ever so slowly. When she noticed Raphael hadn't retracted from her as she got closer, she took this as an invitation and just took the plunge, crashing her lips against his own – her eyes shut tight.

At first, Raphael didn't do anything. His body didn't stiffen like he thought it was going to and he made no movements with his arms, forcing them to stay at his sides. He could smell the breathtaking aroma of April's shampoo and at first, it made the hothead rather dizzy and lightheaded, his eyes drooping into half-lidded slits as he felt April graze and caress his cheek, her pillow-soft lips pressing firmly against his wide mouth.

She tilted her head to the side, capturing more of his taste; getting drunk off of the savoring flavor that just screamed Raphael – a mixture of alcohol and a familiar spice she couldn't quite place the name of right at the moment. She pressed her body as close to his plastron as she could, her hands trailing down his face and placed atop his shoulders, fingertips ghosting over the ripples and cuts of his muscular arms, making Raphael shiver delightedly under her touch. She wanted this. She _needed _this, but as she continued to kiss him – to savor his own unique flavor that coated the taste buds on her tongue – her body slackened and tears slowly began to slide down her cheeks before she pulled away slowly, pushing Raphael with a hurtful, gentle shove.

His eyes remained open, wondering if April had noticed he hadn't even closed them during their kiss as she turned slightly to the side, hugging her body while her focused remained strictly on the floor. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, April held up a hand and shut her eyes tight, fresh hot tears streaming down her face before she choked out a harsh sob.

"Just get out of here. Please. Just—just get out…."

There was nothing else to say – nothing else to do. He could apologize all he wanted and tried to make up for doing what he did, but it wouldn't do anyone any good at all. The damage had been done and just like he had predicted, he managed to screw up a situation rather than help make it better. He wasn't good at fixing problems; all he did was make them worse. And boy, did he really fuck up this problem real good….

Without saying another word, Raphael did as he was told and made his way toward the window, slipping the glass barrier open and stepping back into the harsh winds, making sure to look up at April before he left. She had her back against him and didn't even bother to give him a second glance. He knew anything else he would say to her would only fall on deaf ears, so there was no point in wishing her a good night, knowing that there was absolutely nothing good about the night they had both endured. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, wanted to see that bright smile she always seemed to have on her face. Wanted to tell her everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't, and he knew it. They both knew it and no matter what he said, things were still going to be the same when they saw each other the next day, a glimmer of the night's events replaying in their heads as they continued to keep their distance from each other, going on with life like nothing had happened.

_I'm sorry, April…. _Raphael frowned as he pressed his hand against the frozen glass and closed it behind him, taking to the streets in the dead of night.

* * *

And that's a wrap! Sooooo? What'd you guys think? :D I'm sorry if the beginning kind of dragged on a little bit. Like I said before, I changed it up like ten times before I was finally satisfied with it. TwT But other than that, I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. :) Really got to step out of my comfort zone and write something other than romance and humor. :) I'm also sorry if April and Raph sounded a little bit OOC. But, there's always room for improvement, right? :D

Leave your thoughts, questions, comments, concerns, queries, quibbles, and anything else I might have missed by clicking the review button right at the bottom. I love hearing input from my readers because I feel as though it helps me grow as a writer. :) So, until next time readers:

DFTBA!

(Don't Forget To Be Awesome!)


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